How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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