Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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