im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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