Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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