we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
