So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
