Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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