I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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