im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
