I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there was a trapeze. enough said
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
