i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
