Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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