For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
