Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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