I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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