Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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