it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
