So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize