Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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