Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
