If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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