I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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