Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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