apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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