from now on my penis is your penis
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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