Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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