Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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