he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
