i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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