is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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