You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
