Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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