Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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