My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples