in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Terrible idea I love it