I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.