My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?