SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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