He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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