I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
