I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
