Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
