The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
