Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize