Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
