Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Blood and glitter go together right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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