Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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