4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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