He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
