wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
