I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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