ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
