who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
