Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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