I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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