Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry whoacheese hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

Fav 48 7994 1461
share tweet
(712): View more from Iowa

Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

Fav 35 2161 5435
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

Fav 12 5538 2083
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.

Fav 5 1571 839
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

Fav 8 3836 1045
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.

Fav 6 2703 1017
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.

Fav 8 927 2174
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.

Fav 1 39 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.

Fav 0 52 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT