its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
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I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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