I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
