then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god it's open bar.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
